


This Place Is Haunted Like No Other On Earth

by Cactus_Is_Trash



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Arguing, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Awesome Gwen (Merlin), Bittersweet, Bromance, But also, Canonical Character Death, Crack Treated Seriously, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Male Friendship, Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor Swearing, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Post-Magic Reveal, also you can read it as merthur if you'd like! it's about as shippy as the show, but he's a ghost so he's technically still there, i have been informed this one is a tearjerker lads, sexual innuendo, symbolism that is so unsubtle it hurts, the canonical character death is arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24837340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactus_Is_Trash/pseuds/Cactus_Is_Trash
Summary: Arthur huffed, “If I’d known you’d turn into such a grouch I never would have died.”Merlin scowled.The warlock shot up from his bed and stalked out of his room, leaving the former king in his wake. He barely gave himself time to snatch his coat from the floor to warm up his freezing shoulders.“Too soon? Merlin- look, I’m sorry, come back!”Or: A week after Merlin buried his best friend and other half in Avalon, said best friend and other half that he buried in Avalon is suddenly trailing after him like a lost puppy. A dead lost puppy. That came back as a ghost. Merlin was going to scream.
Relationships: Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 310





	This Place Is Haunted Like No Other On Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I had this idea floating around in my head and smashed it out in a day because I thought it was a funny idea! Hopefully y'all agree! I just couldn't get the image of a ghost!Arthur annoying the crap out of Merlin out of my head, and then it turned into a bit of an angst fest and... well... we have this. Big shout out to my beta Icabyppup! Enjoy!

“Merlin,” Arthur nodded in greeting.

“Piss off,” the man said blearily, rolling back over in his bed.

The bed was warm. Far warmer than the stone floors Merlin would have to traverse to leave the room. It wasn’t worth getting up to escape the man beside him. It was better to just ignore him in the hopes he’d go away.

“You can’t keep ignoring me forever,” his friend said.

Scratch that, maybe the cold air was more inviting than Arthur’s voice.

“I can and I will,” Merlin grumbled. In an attempt to drown out the voice of the Once and Future King, he pressed his pillow to his ears.

Merlin could practically feel Arthur rolling his eyes.

“How many times do we have to go over this?”

“None,” Merlin said, “because if you just left me alone we wouldn’t need to at all.”

Arthur huffed, “If I’d known you’d turn into such a grouch I never would have died.”

Merlin scowled.

The warlock shot up from his bed and stalked out of his room, leaving the former king in his wake. He barely gave himself time to snatch his coat from the floor to warm up his freezing shoulders.

“Too soon? Merlin- look, I’m sorry, come back!”

Merlin ignored him.

In the familiar physician’s quarters, Merlin saw Gaius going about his daily duties. He was torn between thinking the sight a blessing and a curse. Either way, he settled next to the man without a word and started crushing up some herbs.

The familiar rhythm of his hands steadied Merlin. It was nice to have something to do other than stew in his emotions. Even though the air was cold and biting, the bunsen burners under the vials of elixir warmed him. He could almost pretend that everything was normal. That it was just early in the morning and he was helping Gaius out before going about his other servant duties.

“Guinevere has asked you to meet her for lunch today,” Gaius said.

Merlin continued crushing herbs.

“Tell her I’m busy,” he said.

Gaius sighed, “You know she doesn’t believe me when I do.”

“I know.”

They finished the remedy in silence.

“You should have lunch with her, Merlin.”

Merlin almost groaned aloud.

Arthur continued as if he couldn’t see the mounting frustration on his former servant’s face.

“She’s just worried about you,” he said, “it’s not like she’s going to bite.” Arthur narrowed his eyes slightly. “Unless the two of you are having an affair, but I highly doubt it.”

_I don’t have the privacy to have an affair with you always following me_ , Merlin thought to himself.

Arthur wasn’t deterred by his silence.

“Look, you can’t keep ignoring her forever, trust me. One of these days she’s going to lock the both of you in her chambers and force you to have lunch with her while you talk about your feelings incessantly, no matter how much you’d rather be training with the knights.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow briefly in the king’s direction.

Arthur cleared his throat, “I mean…”

Merlin forced the edges of his mouth down. He would not let the king see he amused him.

“Either way,” Arthur said quickly, “you should go.”

Merlin’s hands stilled their slicing.

“Maybe,” he muttered quietly.

Arthur’s face brightened, but he turned away so Merlin couldn’t see it.

“What did you say, Merlin?” Gaius asked.

“Nothing,” and they went back to silence.

* * *

Merlin stood slightly behind the queen’s throne as the council abated. In a few moments it would be appropriate for him to leave. He could start at a slower walk, maybe hide himself behind some other servants, and then quicken his pace to escape the room as soon as possible. He had the entire journey mapped out in his head when-

“Merlin,” the queen said, in full hearing range of the council, “would you stay behind for a moment?”

That woman played dirty. If Merlin weren’t so anxious to leave he’d respect the hustle.

Instead, Merlin nodded and watched enviously as everyone filed out and the room became empty.

“I know you’re avoiding me,” Gwen said.

“I’m not avoiding you."

Guinevere’s face fell, her brows drawing together and her eyes crinkling with grief.

“Please, Merlin,” Gwen said, aiming that awful expression at him. “I know things have been hard recently, but-“

“I’m sorry,” Merlin interrupted, “you highness, but Gaius has asked I help with a special medicine tonight. I need to be at our chambers as soon as possible.”

If it was possible, Gwen’s face fell even more, “I see. You’re dismissed then.”

Merlin left without another word as two sets of eyes bore into his back.

* * *

“I understand how you must feel, Merlin, but you shouldn’t speak to Guinevere that way.”

Merlin buried his head deeper in his hands, “I know.”

“She’s just trying to look out for you,” the king went on.

“I know.”

“If you would just-“

“I _know!_ ” Merlin shouted. “I know, Arthur, believe me, I do!”

His friend went silent.

“I just-“ Merlin’s face crumpled and he hid it in his arms so Arthur wouldn’t see, “I can’t.”

Arthur let the words hang in the air without challenge.

“I’m sorry,” the king finally said. “For whatever my word is worth nowadays.”

Merlin looked up at his friend through watery eyes, “I know.” He wiped the tears away with his sleeve. “I am too.”

“I know.”

Merlin couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, so he turned away.

“I hear you cry it every night.”

* * *

“Have sex with her.”

Merlin spat out his drink in surprise. The other people in the tavern looked at him strangely, so he ducked his head low and tried to avoid their scrutiny.

“Do _what_?” he asked lowly, so no one else would hear. He was alone anyway at his table in the corner. If anyone were to look his way the only indication of a conversation would be his moving lips. He hid them behind his ale.

“The barmaid that served you,” Arthur said conversationally, “was giving you eyes.”

“She was not."

“She definitely was."

Merlin put down his drink and moved his hand so it covered his mouth.

“How would you even know?” he asked the man.

Arthur rolled his eyes, “I know women.”

Merlin snorted, “Yeah right.”

Arthur looked offended.

“I do,” he said indignantly. “If I didn’t, how would I have gotten with Guinevere?”

“Believe me,” Merlin said into his hand, ”I ask myself that every day.”

Arthur tried to hit Merlin over the head, but his hand went through like he was the air. Not even a shiver to suggest the man had even tried.

“Just go for it,” Arthur encouraged, “you need to lose that virginity of yours someday.”

“Who says I already haven’t,” Merlin countered, slightly offended.

“Please,” Arthur said, “I would know if you’d had sex before.”

“You would know?” Merlin said, incredulous.

“I would,” Arthur said cryptically. Merlin couldn’t summon the strength to question him.

“Unless,” Arthur said, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh god,” Merlin muttered, sipping his ale again.

“That time you were skipping your duties,” Arthur said, “and acting cagey. Guinevere said you were seeing a girl. You came in with a limp to dinner.”

Merlin’s cheeks burned at the misunderstanding, “I- no- we did not- the limp-“

Arthur laughed, “How the hell did you get a limp from that? Was she a freak in the sheets then, Merlin?”

Merlin’s face got hotter as his shoulders scrunched to his ears, “There was no girl and there was certainly no limp-inducing sex!” He denied.

Arthur rolled his eyes, “No need to be ashamed.”

Merlin wished he could hit the man.

“Did she-“ Arthur stopped halfway through the sentence. “Oh, was it a boy? That would better explain the limp. Always knew you’d be a catcher.”

Merlin’s ears burned, “Arthur!”

“What?” Arthur held up his hands. “I won’t judge you, Merlin, I for one have-“

“There was no girl, Arthur, and there was no boy either,” Merlin stressed to him. “Gwen was lying for me.”

Arthur’s amusement dwindled in his confusion, “Then what were you doing?”

Merlin went silent.

Arthur tensed in understanding. The banter in the air shrivelled up and died.

“It was a magic thing,” Arthur said, “wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence the rest of the night.

* * *

“Just polish the armour.”

“I’m not polishing it.”

“Polish it.”

“I’m not polishing it.”

“Polish it.”

“No.”

“Why not!” Arthur complained

“Because you told me to,” Merlin said.

Arthur groaned and tried to hit his head on the wall. Merlin, contrary to his previous beliefs, was thoroughly enjoying his time in the armoury.

“I will make your life a living hell,” Arthur swore.

Merlin snorted, “You already do, sire.”

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“Eloquent as always.”

Arthur threw his hands in the air, “The moment I’m no longer king you take the opportunity to disrespect me.”

Merlin chuckled, “Since when did I not disrespect you, even when you were king?”

Arthur opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds, “Shut up.”

Merlin shook his head, a smile causing his cheeks to subtly ache. He threw his polishing rag on the table and instead paced the length of the armoury. Merlin thought he remembered Leon saying he was looking for his favourite crossbow. There was no harm in helping the man out a little.

As he searched, Arthur hovered over his shoulder like a persistent fly.

“Do you need to look over my shoulder all the time or do you do it just to spite me?”

Arthur grinned, “I have to pay you back somehow.”

“I could always just start hanging out with Sir Seymour,” Merlin said.

Arthur wrinkled his nose in disgust, “You wouldn’t. He’s a toad of a man!”

“I hung out with you didn’t I?”

Arthur’s mouth hung open in shock at the insult.

“Well,” Merlin said cheerfully, “that's one way to catch flies.”

Arthur tried to air his frustration at Merlin by throwing a gauntlet, but his hand went straight through it.

“Ha,” Merlin laughed.

Arthur pointed a finger at him, “Stop laughing at me or I’ll sing that tavern song you hate for hours on end in the middle of the night.”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, “You wouldn’t sink that low.”

“Considering my body is at the bottom of a lake, I say I would.”

Merlin tensed, his easy smile disappearing from his face. Arthur seemed to have realised he spoke wrong as Merlin grabbed his unused polishing rag and made for the exit.

“Fuck,” the king cursed to himself. “Merlin, I-“

The man was already gone.

* * *

“What’s the point of being a ghost if I can’t even terrorise people?”

Merlin sighed, but didn’t stop scrubbing his clothes.

“When my father was a ghost he had plenty of fun terrifying you,” Arthur went on.

The suds and bubbles kept multiplying as time went on. The cold water of the bucket numbed Merlin’s hands. He could have just as easily asked the laundresses of the castle to do the task for him, but he didn’t. Just in the same way he refused Gwen’s offer as a member of her council.

“Are you still mad about the other day?” Arthur asked.

Merlin didn’t respond.

“I said I was sorry, alright!” Arthur said, not deterred by Merlin’s silence. “If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to!”

Merlin scrubbed with a renewed fury.

“You’re acting like a child about it,” Arthur said. “People die, I died- it’s just a-“

“Leave.”

His hands were starting to hurt. The scrubbing was shaving off his skin more than the dirt on the clothes.

“What?”

The lump in Merlin’s throat got larger. It was an awful thing. It made it hard to breathe, to think.

Merlin kept scrubbing, “I said leave.”

“Merlin-“

The lump burst like a dragon from the egg in fiery glory.

“Why can’t you just leave me _ALONE_?!” Merlin screamed, shoving the clothes into the bucket. The water spilt over the edge.

By the time Merlin looked over his shoulder, Arthur was gone.

* * *

Merlin couldn’t find Arthur anywhere. Not that he was in the habit of looking for him. Usually the apparition was stuck to Merlin like glue, and when he wasn’t, Merlin was happy for the respite.

The night was cold, as it had been for the past few months. It was a bitter, harsh cold as well. So cold that it forced Merlin into three layers of clothes as he traversed the castle halls. At this time of night, Arthur could most often be found outside Merlin’s bedroom in Gaius’ physician chambers. Merlin sometimes spotted him reading the open books and staring at curious glass vials. And when Merlin woke up in the middle of the night he was still there. Almost like he was waiting for Merlin to pad out, stare in relief, and try to go back to sleep.

When Merlin was at the queen’s door he finally found him.

Arthur was at Guinevere’s bedside, kneeling on the floor. He looked like he’d been in that position for a while. Gwen was blissfully asleep and unaware of their presence.

Merlin watched the two from the entrance in silence.

“The hardest part,” Arthur said quietly, “of being gone isn’t death, Merlin.”

Arthur put his hand forward to stroke Guinevere’s cheek, but he couldn’t touch her.

“Death is easy,” the former king said. “What’s hard is realising that the people you loved, cared out, adored- can’t ever know how much you truly miss them because they don’t even know you’re there.”

Merlin swallowed thickly, “I know you’re here.”

“And you wish you didn’t.”

Merlin said nothing.

* * *

“Oi,” Arthur said, “leave the page open for me.”

Merlin huffed, “You don’t even like Cædmon, you think his poetry is boring.”

“When there’s nothing else to do I like Cædmon very much."

Merlin shook his head and left the page open, leaving the desk. He was only taking a break for a moment before returning to the complicated medicinal paste Gaius had assigned him. He was thankful to Gaius for keeping him busy. When he had too much time to himself it didn’t end well.

“Are you going to Guinevere’s luncheon today?” Arthur asked, pretending to be absorbed in the poetry.

“Maybe."

“You should go,” Arthur said. “It might be painfully boring, but… it’s almost my birthday.”

Merlin would like to say he’d forgotten. He’d have liked to say it hadn’t been on his mind constantly. He’d have liked to, but since when did what he’d like have any effect on reality?

“Want a present?” Merlin asked mildly.

If Arthur asked, he’d bring the world to its knees. Merlin tried his hardest to forget that.

“What could you even offer me?"

“I don’t know,” Merlin said truthfully. He continued measuring out some liquids while he thought.

Arthur went back to his poetry.

“I could-” Merlin said before he could stop himself.

Arthur looked up, curious.

“I could do some magic for you?” Merlin said quietly.

The air between them was always thick these days. But somehow it had become impossibly thicker.

“I’d love that,” Arthur said.

Merlin almost smiled.

* * *

He tried to polish the armour again. He’d had his rag at the ready. The older chainmail was on his lap. Arthur wasn’t there.

He ended up leaving it on the table, links still un-cleaned.

* * *

“His form is atrocious,” Arthur critiqued.

The squire in question fell on his arse, Sir Leon shaking his head in the background.

Merlin hid his chuckle in his hand.

“If he would only plant his foot firmer,” Arthur said, “he’d have a much easier time staying on his feet.”

The boy picked himself off the ground and trudged to the bench in shame. He’d been having quite the hard time lately in training. He wasn’t as naturally gifted as the other squires, and his knight (Sir Caddock) neglected any sense of duty towards helping the lad.

The boy sat next to Merlin on the seat, where he was watching the training, and sulked silently.

Merlin didn’t know what possessed him to do what he did next. He hadn’t talked to many people since Camlann. It could have been Arthur’s presence behind him, his own fucked moral compass, or even just the forlorn look on the boy’s face.

“You should plant your feet more,” Merlin said. He was almost surprised to hear his own voice.

“What?” the teenager said.

Merlin gestured to one of the other squires, “You see his feet? They’re always a length apart, his back foot firmly on the ground. You keep your feet too close and your back foot too weak.”

The squire watched as the other boy in question kept his balance on the swing that had felled him.

“Oh,” the squire said in realisation. “Thanks.”

Merlin smiled, “No problem. Make sure you show them what you’ve got.”

The squire grinned, his knight finally calling on him to go and join again.

Merlin watched him go, keeping an eye on the lad. When it came his turn to practice the swing again, he remembered to plant his feet properly. He didn’t fall.

Arthur came and sat on the abandoned seat. He usually just stood.

“That was a good thing you did, Merlin,” Arthur said.

“It was just to shut you up.”

Arthur grinned, “I thought so.”

* * *

Merlin stormed into his room with a slam of the doors. The resulting bang was loud enough to wake the dead. _Or summon them_ , Merlin supposed, as Arthur followed behind him. Merlin paced the length of his small room in agitation. He didn’t want to sit, to still, to slow down for even a moment. There was a volcano of untapped energy sizzling inside of him. All he knew was that if he didn’t run a hole in the floor with his feet, he wasn’t mad enough.

“That was uncalled for,” Arthur said, leaning against the wall.

Merlin let out a frustrated noise, “I know.”

His friend’s disapproval radiated off him in waves. Merlin could hardly bear it.

“You had no right to snap at her that way,” Arthur continued, either unaware of Merlin’s thinning control or disregarding it. “She’s been trying to help and you spat it back in her face.”

“God- fucking hell-“ Merlin raged. “I already know that!”

“Do you?” Arthur said back, voice rising to match Merlin’s. “Because you sure aren’t acting like it!”

“Would you just shut up for one fucking second?!” Merlin shouted. “I can’t hear myself think over your constant chatting! Every second of every day you’re in my ear!”

“Well it’s not like I can talk to anyone else, is it?!” Arthur argued back. “I didn’t ask for you to be the only person who can see me!”

Merlin dug his hands into his hair, “Just shut up, just shut up, _just shut up_!”

“Not until you stop being an idiot and apologise! Everyone has been nothing but kind to you, Merlin! They’ve been understanding, they’ve been caring, they’ve been lovely to you and you don’t seem to care!”

“I do care, I-“ Merlin could feel his nails on his scalp.

“You obviously don’t!” Arthur cut him off, almost screaming. “It’s not their problem that you can’t seem to move on! I’m dead, Merlin! I’m gone!”

“ _Shut up!_ ”

“Nothing you say or do is going to change that fact that my body is at the bottom of a lake _being feast on by_ _fucking fish_!”

“ _JUST STOP!_ ”

A wave of magic burst out of Merlin in his distress. He could feel it build and break with the violence of an explosion. The force shook the room’s very foundation and Merlin stumbled in its quake. The pure power shocked him for only a moment. It did nothing to quell the storm inside his chest.

“I know I’ve been a shit friend,” Merlin cried. “I know they’ve done what they can for me, I know. But I see you every day, a reminder of how I failed. I failed you, Arthur- I couldn’t save you. I let my best friend die and it’s my fault. I don’t even know if you’re really here or if this is all some fucked up hallucination!”

Arthur’s jaw welded itself shut in what could only be a painful amount of force.

Merlin let the tears in his eyes blur his vision beyond recognition, “This could all be in my head! I could- I could be going batshit crazy and I’d never know! You can’t begin to imagine what that’s like! You’re here, with me, and it’s like you never died, but I know you did and you’re either a delusion or you’re really you and I don’t know what’s worse!”

Merlin could barely breathe. His throat was closing so tight and so fast it felt like a snake was squeezing it shut. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe-

“I can’t- I can’t move on,” Merlin sobbed, “because it’s- it’s my fault. It was my entire destiny to- to protect you and I- I couldn’t even do that! I was born for it and I failed! All those years of lies, all those years of fear and it amounted to _nothing_!

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Merlin cried. “My one purpose has been snatched away from me and I have the rest of my fucking life to live with it, and maybe more? I don’t even know what it means that you’ll ‘rise again’! I don’t know anything and _I’m scared!_ ”

Merlin buried his face in his sleeves, “I’m scared.”

The air was filled with Merlin’s sniffles and quiet sobs. He’d finally said all the horrible thoughts that had been plaguing his mind for months on end. They had been eating him from the inside out, devouring his insides until there was nothing left. There had been a black storm cloud over Merlin’s head for so long that now it was finally raining, he had no umbrella. It was soaking him to the bone.

“I’m scared too,” came a slightly choked voice.

Merlin hiccupped slightly and looked up through his watery eyes.

Arthur’s slightly translucent face was forcibly pulled into a neutral expression. But Merlin knew Arthur, even this undead version. Arthur was trying his hardest to keep his emotions stamped down somewhere deep and dark inside of him.

“I died, Merlin,” Arthur said shakily. “I died and now I’m here and I don’t know why. I don’t know for how long. I can’t tell my friends I miss them, I can’t hold my wife’s hand, I can’t even give them a sign I’m watching over them because it’s like I don’t even exist.”

Arthur blinked his shining eyes, “I’m always right beside you, but I can’t help but feel a million miles away. Everything is so cold, all the time, and I’m stuck in the clothes I died in, and every sword point is a reminder of the blade that killed me, and every time you wake up screaming I know it’s because of me.”

Merlin was shaking on the edge of the bed. He didn’t even remember when he sat down.

“I just want you to move on,” Arthur said, “but I’m scared that if you do I’ll really be gone. That I won’t be able to talk to you anymore. That I’ll be stuck at the bottom of that fucking lake until destiny says I can come back.”

Arthur rubbed his hands over his face for a second before finally looking Merlin in the eyes, “I’m a hypocrite, too. I spend all my time wishing I could tell people I love them, and here in front of me is the one man I’ve always trusted the most, and I can’t even say it.”

Merlin almost started crying again, “Arthur-“

“I love you, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. And it was never your fault I died. It was my own doing and my own actions that drove Mordred away. I won’t stand for you ever thinking you’re to blame.”

“I-“ Merlin squeezed his eyes shut against more tears. “I love you, too.” They were words he’d never thought they’d say and it broke his heart. “I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Merlin wished for nothing more than to feel Arthur sit beside him. For a hand around his shoulders, or even a punch on the arm. Or just the heat that told of another person near.

When he opened his eyes, Arthur was there, squat down to have their gazes level. Merlin pretended that when he put his face forward that he could feel it press against his friend’s neck.

It was as close as they were going to get, and Merlin loved (and hated) every moment of it.

* * *

“Merlin,” Guinevere said in surprise and delight. “I didn’t expect you to come.”

Merlin closed the door softly behind him. Gwen was seated alone, her barely touched lunch still spread across the table. Enough for two. Guinevere looked so tired and hopeful that Merlin felt pure shame flood his system for avoiding her for so long.

She looked so small at the long table. It was large enough to seat over ten men, yet it was only her. Waiting and hoping for a dining partner that never came. Until today.

“I didn’t either,” Merlin said truthfully, sitting down opposite his friend.

Gwen smiled a little tearily at him and started to cut up her food, “How have you been?”

Merlin stared at his plate and ignored the question, “I’m sorry, Gwen.”

Guinevere’s face fell, “Whatever for?”

“I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you yesterday,” Merlin said. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but-“

“Oh Merlin,” Gwen’s hand came out to cup his, “it’s okay. I understand Arthur’s passing would be hard for you. I shouldn’t have pushed you before you were ready.”

Merlin shook his head, “It’s still no excuse for how I acted.”

“You’re forgiven,” Guinevere said.

Merlin nodded and made a start on his food. There were things still left unsaid between them. Words hanging in the air. But for the moment they were content in each other’s company. They were at peace.

They talked idly about the court for a few minutes before they really got back into their usual banter. The ache in his heart told Merlin that he’d missed Gwen. More than he even realised. It felt good to talk with her, to laugh with her, and at the end when he escorted her back to the lonely room she used to share, to cry with her.

It felt freeing.

* * *

Arthur was minding his own business. 

No really, he was! Well, okay, not really. But he was a ghost, minding his own business was hard. No one ever saw him, heard him, felt him or anything. He could spy on anyone or anything he chose with no repercussions. Of course he was going to take advantage of it.

As Arthur strolled through the lower town, he felt awfully out of place. He always did as a ghost though, so it wasn’t a new feeling. As he walked, he listened to the conversation and gossip of his people as they went about their days. What new dress Marie had commissioned, who Gared had shared a bed with last night, how lovely Laurel looked with daisies in her hair. 

At some point he found a scruffy looking cat. He had already dropped down to beckon it to him before he realised it was useless. He was invisible.

But the cat seemed to get the memo, because before he knew it, the mangy thing was at his fingers. The cat was trying to get patted, but Arthur’s hand went through him every time he tried. Sometimes Arthur forgot that animals seemed to sense him. Sometimes a horse would turn it’s head to greet him, or a dog would bark in his direction. Rarely did an animal want to get near him though.

It was a pleasant surprise.

So pleasant in fact, that Arthur had to tell Merlin about it. He was sure the man would get a kick out of the story. So when the cat gave up on his incorporeal hands, he left for the castle. Merlin was usually in Gaius’ chambers, but Arthur didn’t find him there. Losing track of Merlin was always a little annoying. There was only so much time alone Arthur could take before it drove him mad. So he searched the castle for Merlin’s usual haunts. Ha, haunts. He was hilarious.

The last place Arthur looked was the armoury. By the time he thought to check there, it was nearing night fall.

He slipped through the slightly open door with ease. He preferred not to glide through walls, if only because it was uncomfortable. And a little dehumanising.

He expected to have to turn around and walk right back out. Merlin was rarely in the armoury, even less after their spat.

But there he was.

Polishing armour.

“Merlin,” Arthur said in surprise.

Merlin’s head lifted, startled, to look at him, “Arthur.”

The former king came to look at the steel in the man’s hands. There was an oddly somber blanket over the affair.

“Is that my old chainmail?”

Merlin turned back to his task, “Yeah. Thought it could use a clean.”

Arthur watched it sparkle in the torchlight, “Yeah, I suppose it could.”

* * *

Arthur sat at the lake and watched the water sparkle. It was a beautiful sight. Far more beautiful than it had been in his last moments. Back then; everything had a layer of haze and pain over it. He couldn’t appreciate the ethereal sight of the perfectly still waters.

There was also a woman in the water. She was eerily familiar. When he and Merlin first arrived, she looked frightened to see him. But now she smiled at him warmly, the expression holding a bittersweet edge. Arthur knew it was probably time.

“I think I have to leave, Merlin,” Arthur said, watching the waves lap undisturbed at his feet.

Merlin hugged his knees to his chest, “I know.”

Arthur wished he could lean into the man, but he couldn’t. So they sat, watching as the sunset stained the blue lake red.

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” Arthur said.

The lady in the lake had come to sit by and stare at Merlin. She seemed enamoured. Maybe they knew each other once.

Merlin wiped his nose and smiled tearily, “Yeah. If that old fuck of a dragon is to be believed.”

Arthur chuckled, “I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.”

Merlin laughed too, “Yeah, me neither.”

Arthur watched the sun start to dip below the horizon. As far as last days went, it was far nicer than his death. He supposed he should be grateful. He couldn’t tell if he was.

“I’ll wait for you,” Merlin said sombrely. “When you come back, I’ll be there.”

Arthur shivered slightly, although the cold had been the same since he first awoke.

“I promise,” Merlin said, catching his eye. The sunset made the blue glow gold.

Arthur nodded, “Thank you, Merlin.”

Merlin blinked his eyes a few times and nodded back, “It’s my destiny.”

“I don’t trust destiny,” Arthur said, staring into the water. Somewhere down there, his body rested.

Merlin placed a hand over his, ignoring how it fell through to the dirt.

“Then trust my word,” Merlin said. “I swear to you I’ll wait.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

Sunset had never seemed as beautiful as it did by the lake. It was as if the world was on fire. Not like the fire that once burned Camelot to the ground, but like the gentle flames Merlin conjured. The ones that flickered in his golden eyes.

Arthur caught a spark out of the corner of his vision and turned his head. Dancing in the air was a flaming dragon, the one from his very own crest. The two men (and the woman) watched as it flew. It dived and dipped and played for what seemed like an age. All three were content to see it flap its wings until the moon lit up the world with it’s silver light.

“It is time, Arthur,” the woman said. Arthur knew Merlin couldn’t see her. It was only him.

Arthur nodded to her and slowly stood. Merlin stood with him.

“I-“ Arthur didn’t even know what to say.

The woman was already stepping into the lake, patiently waiting for Arthur to follow.

Arthur tried to form his mouth into all the things he wanted to say- knew he should say. There was a lot he wanted to tell Merlin, to remind him of, to ask him to tell the others, but it all died in his throat. There really wasn’t much left to say that Merlin didn’t know.

Arthur felt a hand in his and sent a startled look at the woman who held it. He hadn’t felt anything in so long it almost took his breath away.

When Arthur looked back, Merlin, ever the more emotional one, was almost crying.

“I guess I am worth your tears after all,” Arthur said, recalling their conversation long ago.

Merlin laughed, wiping his eyes, “I guess you are.”

And Arthur let the woman lead him into the watery depths. As they sunk lower and lower he felt himself drift off again. It was less like death, more like sleep. Either way, Arthur was content to let it consume him.

He’d wake up again. He only had to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Make sure to tell me your thoughts in the comments or let me know you enjoyed it with a kudos! Was the characterisation alright? Any spelling mistakes? Want me to add a tag? Have a specific line you like? Just wanna scream at me? All is welcome! P.S. Please click this [link](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a-lzdtxOlWuzYNGqwlYwxMWADtZ6vJGCpKhtJHHrS54/edit) to educate yourself on the BLM movement and police brutality. Stay safe and aware guys!


End file.
